Wow, I suck ass and other trivial things...plus one major thing

Today is I am going to swear a lot sort of day..if you are easily offended you should stop reading here, consider yourself warned. You are welcome!

So as I sit here pondering my fucked up existence, I know that there is so much I need to be grateful for. (And I am I truly am) But today seems to be a day that is going to be rough on me. Like one of those days that if I was a drug addict I would totally shoot too many drugs. I had a whole list of witty stuff to talk about, I actually thought to myself, this is totally (I'm currently channeling my inner valley girl, rad dude) it...I am going to totally captivate my readers (so far party of one reader...ME). Some how I got side tracked, OK my A.D.D. got the better of me. I am not even entirely sure that I have A.D.D. - has anyone seen my pet squirrel, or the dog or my gun? Wait I don't have a gun. Fuck me sideways I don't own a gun...actually that's probably a good thing cause I would either use it on some idiot that pissed me off or someone would end up using it on me for opening my big foul mouth potty talk mouth. (is that even a sentence? Guess it does not matter party of one still)

As I am writing this I have a ton of other stuff going through my mind - no not where I can buy drugs (remember I am not a drug addict). But drugs could make all these feelings of inadequacy go away or a gun, guns can make people go away, then I would no longer feel inadequate. This is why I should not be left to my own devices, I am seriously a nut job. If this is the first time reading my posts, my previous posts are sweet and sort of guarded (wait are they? Or is that just something else I tell myself..man I really suck ass).

There are things I should be doing right this moment, but since I suck ass.I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. Oh well at least dinner is in the crockpot (I kick ass I made dinner, love leave it and it forget it shit) There does not seem to be a topic today, I am really trying to distract myself from the sadness that is creeping in. All kidding aside, my grandfather (he is the cutest thing alive is not doing well.) He is in his 90's and is just tired. He is not suffering from illness but he is not his usual perky self and for that I am sad. He has been falling a lot and is now using a walker, he is also in stage 4 kidney disease. The past couple years both of my grandparents have really slowed down. My grandfather used to golf like crazy, walk everywhere, visited McDonald's everyday and very rarely did you ever catch him without a smile. I have come to realize I could learn a lot from him, I have not spent nearly enough time with him. I have not spent enough of my lousy 42 years telling him I love him. Still as I say this I sit in my pajamas, on my couch - I am too afraid to go there. Too afraid that this will be the end. OK - enough of this...he would not want this. I am posting this picture of my grandparents, while they are not internet savvy - they have no way of seeing this. But it makes me feel better to see it. (FYI I am not a total loser -  I am not able to go visit today, my son and husband have both been sick with terrible colds it is not wise for me to go there in the event I am getting the germs that are running rampant in my house I do not want to make them sick on top of everything else)

Something has to give!!

So my internet is finally up and running again! What a nightmare...but at least it is up and I am able to continue my quest for gainful employment.

I am not even sure where I left off, note to self reread previous posts before ranting on the net. What have a ranted about or not ranted about...*SMH*


What a crazy past few weeks it has been! I am having a blast with Instagram and the apps to edit the pictures, I only have a few followers and am following a few as well. I tend to take a lot of pictures of my dogs. I am sure my followers just love that. And have been posting pictures of food, a picture a day challenge, my crazy faces (wait I may not have posted those), pictures of kidlet #4 (btw allow me to brag for a moment - he made honor roll!! YIPPEE!!)

 

Boy do I need a life - or a job a job would be fantastic!


I, in the past have never been much for cooking or baking but lately I have been really enjoying it, And have been baking up a storm. Even made dog treats!! I also scored a bread-maker and have made thus far one loaf of bread. And some dinner rolls. The loaf of bread was a little on the dense side, but the dinner rolls were amazing we had them with some homemade chicken vegetable soup.

Kidlet #4 has a terrible cold right now. 

He normally never gets sick and when he does he is usually pretty stoic about it, then last night I was introduced to his other personality that apparently has been dormant for all of his 11 years! We will call him demon child he showed up at 1:00 A.M. complete with kicking and flailing tantrum because he could not fall asleep. I gave said Demon child a Niquel capsule, it did the trick Demon child was knocked out in 12 minutes I on the other hand was awake until 5 A.M., at which time I started my day!

So I am feeling so discouraged, I had an interview this Tuesday and I felt it had gone really well, but just found out that today I was not selected was told that they had decided to hire from within the company, but that I had been referred to another position and to expect a call shortly to set up another in person interview. This is a good thing, but I am so discouraged...I just want a job!

To make matters worse my husband that has been out of work due to a work comp issue for 2 years just received notification that they are cutting off his benefits. GREAT - now what?? 

Moving forward..the now what brings me to my car was sick and also had to be in the shop. Bills are piling up...I am feeling stretched very thin! Something has to give...RIGHT?

Well, I am going to go bake something - love they way it smells up the house...and it will keep my head out of my head for a few minutes (at least).

Ta Ta for now!

Oh wait - let me leave a recipe I have tried and love! Some people don't like these things in a cup but I think they are great, I can't over eat then! It is just one item...So far I have made a cookie in a cup, a brownie in a cup, an oatmealy breakfast thing (complete with blueberries) in a cup, I have a recipe for coffee cake in a cup that I am willing to try. But for now here is the  original link for some chocolatey yumminess.Brownie in a Cup recipe = super easy - super yummy!! 

Ingredients:
1/4 c flour
1/4 c brown sugar
2 Tbsp applesauce (or oil) **I used oil**
2 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
Pinch o' salt
2 Tbsp milk or coffee or water **I made one with milk and one with coffee, I enjoyed both**

 **I also threw in chocolate chips too maybe about a TBSP full**

Directions:
Stir ingredients together in a mug, microwave for 1 minute or until top is springy but still gooey...top with scoop of ice cream for extra awesomeness.

I apologize I only have a picture after it was half eaten! And it had ice cream on it too!!

Enjoy!!

Ok now I am officially shutting up and going to go find something to do or bake!!

Peace!

New Year 2013

Well it seems the New Year is upon us! I'm going to work on being grateful and positive and pleasant..but inside I'm crying.  I'm going to be off the grid for a bit I am still unemployed and no longer have internet, my washing machine broke today (again), my car was just in the shop and we still have ants! And am slightly stressed due to the impending termination of the end of my UI benefits (the senate was supposed to have reaches an agreement by midnight 12/31/2012 I have yet to hear if one was infact reached)

HAPPY NEW YEAR....be back soon

Christmas has come and gone...

So much to say....and no one is listening...

It's been a few days - Christmas holidays have come and gone....today I am removing evidence of Christmas cheer from my house...baking...and doing laundry...and cleaning - attempting to multi task them all at once...why cause I am super talented like that..he he
(**Note** today seems to be a run on sentence kind of day as well!!)

I finally signed up for Instagram, now to figure out how to use it...

Follow me at: 

Instagram (go ahead click it I dare ya)

I think we all had a great Christmas. Was able to spend it with my two sons, my daughters were not able to make it (missed them lots!) As usual not a picture was taken with the exception of one of the Mo-man on Christmas Eve...um why is that I want a better camera?? 

I really wish this blogger thinga ma jig had more options to chose from...maybe it is operator error (lol)

Recipe for today: Adapted from Peanut butter cookies! 

Ingredients

1 cup butter (softened)

1 cup peanut butter

1 cup white sugar

1 cup packed brown sugar

2 eggs

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 

(ran out of AP flour so used 1 cup AP + 1 1/2 White Whole Wheat Flour)

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

also added milk chocolate  mini chips to half the batter

Directions (my adjustments are highlighted)

1. Cream together butter, peanut butter and sugars. Beat in eggs.
2. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir into batter. Put batter in refrigerator for 1 hour.
3. Roll into 1 inch balls and put on baking sheets. Flatten each ball with a fork, making a criss-cross pattern. Bake in a preheated 375 degrees F oven for about 10 minutes or until cookies begin to brown. Do not over-bake.

Outcome: So yummy good!! But I made them too big! oopsie!

**update** due to large size had to add a minute more to bake time which dried out the cookies a little.**

Moving on - received in the mail yesterday denial for another job, no reason given other then another candidate has been selected. Emailed the perspective employer and asked for feedback and was only told that someone had applied with a college degree therefore I was not selected, nothing for me to improve upon. To say the least I am very disappointed.
 Seems that the following picture says it well I am having such a hard time remaining positive. I know that there must be a reason for this. I would like to say that my faith got me through but I am not really sure that saying that would be an honest statement considering I am not overly religious nor do I practice the faith I was baptized into. And then something on going I cannot seem to get past I just feel like the black sheep or the out cast if you will. Sure my actions could be blamed for this however long before that whole mess that occurred this spring I felt that way. I just dont fit it in where I want to. I have never felt included or like one of them. Oh sure I am tolerated - but to sum it all up I just don't fit the mold like everyone else. 

 

Aside from all this: I finished a book, Impaired - click the links Initial Review, Final Review, to see what I have to say. I know you just can't wait to hear (err - read my thoughts) I also had my car in the shop (ouch), And I have decided that I really REALLY need to do something with my fugly hair that is now 50% thinner then it was a year ago prior to my sleeve surgery. And I need to break the chains in regards to my OCD skin issues, tired of my face looking like crap and it always hurting why can't I stop?? Oh look squirrel....

On the upside, my car is happy again, I have a new book I am totally engrossed in, I have a job interview on Wed Jan 2, court on the third (grr) and I woke up above ground today! 

Don't forget to check out the funny page I updated it! 

  

It's Hump Day! Plus a recipe....

I have been meaning to come back and post - I have no excuse other then laziness! I am still under employed! (Have been on several interviews but because of the holidays everything is on the back burner) And yes Christmas is still coming.....aaah!! I also want to mention this whole thing with the event in CT is just too much for me to wrap my little brain around! My heart, love and whatever else I can offer go out to the people that have been effected by this senseless tragedy! Love and Light!

Last night we took Mo to volunteer at a shelter to feed the homeless. What a great opportunity! Our kids are so privileged today - they (actually all of us do) take so so much for granted. I am not sure that these boys (the entire football team, 9-11 year olds) really was able to comprehend what we were trying to do - but my hope is that they will take this with them into their lives and have a heart for all people regardless of gender, preferences, life style, and material things owned, borrowed or otherwise. I plan on incooperating this event into a yearly thing for our family! We could all as a human race stand to give back (even if it is just a little)

Ok off my box!

That being said still have a lot to do for Christmas!

OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!

Menu to plan, grocery shopping, baking, and will need to wrap the remaining few presents (that have yet to come in the mail...insert woman running around shrieking here...OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!)

Also  I tried a recipe I found on the web or maybe it was Pinterest..either way I doctored it and made it my own and it was wonderful! See below for details.... Since I can no longer find the original recipe used, after a search I found this similiar recipe. Please click the link to view.

image borrowed from All Recipes

Ingredients I used:

4 skinless, boneless chicken breast (I actually used 3 double breasts)

1 (.7 ounce) package dry Italian-style salad dressing mix

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese (softened - I let sit out for a few hours)

1 Family size can condensed cream of chicken soup

1 small can chicken broth**

dried onion bits (would be really good with chopped onions but the boy does not like them)

Minced garlic (couple spoons full - love me some garlic!) 

Served over Pasta (Egg Noodles)

Directions

• Put all ingredients EXCEPT the cream cheese and Pasta in the slow cooker, cook on low 4-5 hours.
• Add cream cheese mix into the mix as much as you can and cook on high for another 1/2 hour or until heated through and warm. (Cream Cheese was still a little chunky for me)
•  Remove Chicken from crockpot and cut into strips, cubes whatever you fancy!
•  I used a hand mixer and whipped the broth/soup/juices in the crock pot(This step removed the cream cheese lumps_
• Now put the cut up chicken back into the crock pot, stir and replace lid. 
• Prepare pasta 

Serve over the pasta - we ate in bowls but culd be done on a plate! Enjoy yummy goodness!

** 1/8 cup margarine recipe called for this I substituted with can of chicken broth**

***the original recipe I viewed also called for mushrooms and cream of mushroom soup which I omitted - again something the boy does not like)*** 

Final Thoughts:  

Would definitely make this again, super yummy and super easy...it was a WIN WIN in my eyes!  Next time I make this think I will try biscuits as opposed to pasta...wonder if you can do them in the crockpot as well? 

So what should I make this week ?